Quintessential Fool

Head in the clouds, feet off the ground. Stepping into the abyss. Feeling “cuspy” is what I call it, this sense of standing right on the edge of new development in my work. Gravity becomes involved here. Every move becomes serious, counts, informs, opens or closes circuits. I am about to step forward into new territory and I feel ungrounded. I may tip forward into something substantial and satisfying or I just might teeter into a nasty chasm with a shutdown of inspiration and subsequent period of inaction. I don’t like those plunges so I become watchful. Hyper-conscious of every move and that chills the creative juices.

Time to invoke the Fool. Play the Wild Card. Step outside the game. Start at zero. Eyes closed to the outside but open to Infinite Possibilities. Put on my naïve childlike optimism like a yellow cap. Keep the faith. Breathe.

I have so far taken an unconventional path. No formal education. Painting for myself. Focusing on universal human themes from my particular perspective. I’ve made some deep connections. I’ve had phenomenal conversations with folks about physics, shamanism, alchemy, psychedelics, creativity, Jungian psychology, magic, beauty, suffering, poetry, the nature of change….all catalyzed by a colored canvas. But the way is branching. I’m conflicted, pulled in alternate directions. Practical and profound issues are surfacing that require answers. Among them: money, service, sustainability, the future, healing, participation in old forms, creating new ones. I admit I’m lost. How does an artist integrate vision with making a living, self- expression with offering healing, staying real in a world of facades? What is the role of the Artist in the emerging culture? Can I play? Sometimes I wonder if I am just too naïve, too nice, too deep, too sincere, too scared, too careful. The old wisdom goes: the only way out is through. So I just keep feeling my way in the murk. You may not see far in a fog but sound carries well.